Learning To Say No Can Be Brutal

(This is Logan and Kadyn’s follow-up story to ‘Daring Plans’)

 

A bit of rain had fallen and Kadyn felt himself relaxing as he listened to the light rhythmic swishing of the tires on wet pavement. The anxiety he’d been experiencing throughout the evening had slowly dissipated. Unfortunately, it was steadily turning to anger.

He realized he was annoyed at his friends for having persuaded him to join them in an activity that held absolutely no interest for him. In fact, not only had he found the fetish aspects unnerving, he’d found the entire venue extremely stressful.

Of course he honestly admitted he was equally as cross with himself for going along with them in the first place. But what really shocked him was the discovery of just how angry he was with Logan. Actually, more than angry, he was downright livid. He couldn’t remember ever being this furious and wouldn’t have been surprised to see smoke escaping from his collar with his being so royally pissed off. He tried to stop thinking about it as further thought merely added to his ire.

It was the different sounds from the tires that had him noticing they were no longer on the highway, but instead were travelling along a little use dirt road to the lake.

Logan could tell from Kadyn’s body language that he was upset, but he wasn’t quite sure why. He had a rough idea that it had to do with the episode at the club and possibly Kadyn’s feelings of being overly influenced into doing something he found frightening. He knew he himself would hate to be manipulated into doing things as it would make him feel a little used and wary of others. What he found confusing though was Kadyn’s obvious anger at him. When he’d tried to take his partner’s hand during the drive, the younger man’s posture had stiffened and he’d roughly pushed Logan’s hand away.

The older man’s thoughts went back to when they first started their partnership. Should he have made stronger restrictions on his Brat? It made him realize he really didn’t know as much as he thought he did concerning what Kadyn really needed from him. They’d never actually had an overly in-depth discussion about Kadyn’s past relationship for Logan to know how Kadyn’s former Top might have dealt with similar circumstances. Of course Logan knew he wasn’t fully to blame because Kadyn had a habit of keeping things from him. This evening’s adventure was a prime example.

Logan made up his mind that he and his young man were going to spend time having a long overdue conversation on what Kadyn’s expectations were. Logan also planned to find out just exactly what had taken place earlier with his friends, and how Kadyn felt Logan could have better handled the situation.

Kadyn glanced around as the car slowed to a complete stop and Logan turned off the engine. This was their ‘get-away’ place; a small patch of land at the side of the lake that they had recently purchased with hopes of building a small cabin in the not too distant future.

He briefly closed his eyes and willed the surrounding sounds of nocturnal wildlife to soothe him before obeying Logan’s request that he join him on the strip of sand near the water where the older man had spread out the old quilt they kept in the back of Kadyn’s Subaru. 

Kadyn cautiously accepted the invitation offered by Logan’s beaconing finger to sit down. He lowered his body until he was rigidly sitting as far away as he could from his partner while still remaining on the blanket. He stiffened even more when he felt a hand gently rubbing his back and waited for the inevitable question.

“By your mood, I assume you didn’t enjoy the night out with your friends as much as you thought you would.”

“The whole evening sucked! I knew it would ‘cause I hadn’t wanted to be there in the first place?” Kadyn bitterly complained. “Some folks think that just because I wear a collar, I do those kinds of things. But I don’t! They not only don’t turn me on, they actually scare me.”

“Kadyn, you know you can’t control what other people think about things,” Logan patiently reminded his partner. “You can only project pride in the fact that you wear a collar and never be afraid to explain why you wear it.”

“I am proud of it, Logan, and I tell folks as much,” Kadyn adamantly insisted. “I also tell them the same thing I told you when asked why I prefer it over a ring which could represent the same sense of belonging. It’s because I keep losing rings. Dad replaced my grad ring three times before calling it quits when I lost the last one.”

“Yes, I remember you telling me,” Logan acquiesced. “But right now I’m more interested in learning why you went to a place like that club in the first place?”

“Cause I said I’d be their designated driver,” Kadyn mumbled before turning to face the man beside him. “And because you didn’t ask any questions; at least not the right ones,” he accused, his eyes filling.

“I wasn’t aware of there being questions I had to ask. I now understand my obviously failure to read your body language as well as I could have and therefore missed the signs that you were looking for me to inject my input on your plans. Thinking back, maybe I did see you were a little uneasy, but we are still learning about each other.”

“It sure seems to be taking a long time to get on the same wavelength,” the younger man grumbled.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Logan begged to differ. “We’ve been together less than ten months with a lifetime before us, right?” It was a rhetorical question so Logan didn’t wait for an answer. “I think between my not knowing as much about your past relationship as I someday hope to, and my being concerned about forbidding you do to certain things you want thereby causing you to see me as too controlling, I closed my eyes to the signs. I regret that now.” Taking Kadyn’s hand and dragging him closer, Logan continued, “I think we should start fresh, beginning with opening up the lines of communication. Please tell me what I should have done to stop you from going? Help me out, baby. What would you have wanted me to do?”

“Well, you could have asked me more about this place. I thought you’d have at least wondered why the club was open on a Sunday when it usually isn’t, or maybe you could have shown an interest in what we would be doing there.” Kadyn found he was working himself up again and still couldn’t figure out why. He felt out of control and didn’t know what to do about it. He’d never been able to handle strong negative emotions in the way he felt he should. More often than not, he found himself being overwhelmed by them. He stared out over the lake, wishing he could develop a tactic to better deal with these types of situations.

“Kadyn!” Logan voice was tinged with annoyance and immediately attracted his Brat’s attention. “When were you led to believe I could read minds? If you wanted me to know so badly, why didn’t you just come out and tell me where you were going?”

“I couldn’t! Me, Rene, Kyler and Cameron kinda made a pact of sorts. If our partners didn’t ask, we wouldn’t tell. I’m pretty sure Rene preferred to tell Zack and I know I was really hoping you’d question the plans. But you didn’t! You just said okay and let me go. You didn’t even say you’d come with me.” Kadyn drew up his knees and wrapped his arms around them as if trying to ward off some imaginary demon.

Logan let out a deep breath. “Listen to me, young man. I don’t care what your friends do to keep things from their partners. I know beyond a doubt that I do not appreciate this 'don’t ask, don’t tell' attitude. By your agitated disposition, neither do you. But just to put my point across as to how much I’m against it, I think I should put an exclamation mark on this point of conversation.” With those words, Logan tightened the hold he had on Kadyn’s hand, pulled him across his legs and gave him ten quick, sharp slaps on his jean clad bottom. Then he lifted his somewhat dazed Brat unto his lap and held him against his chest.

Kadyn was surprised to find himself face down over his Top’s lap. In fact the shock was enough to prevent him from struggling or verbally protesting until he yelped at the last two swats. Almost as suddenly as he’d been hauled across Logan’s thighs, he was set upright. He blinked several times as he came to gripes with what had just happened. Although not a serious spanking by any means, he realized it had been more than adequate in re-establishing just who was in charge of safeguarding this relationship and him. The pounding in his ears ebbed along with the rapid beating of his heart as he gradually relaxed and let go of the anger that had been baffling him since they’d left the club.

After giving Kadyn a tender kiss on the forehead, Logan pushed him back a bit so they could look into each other’s eyes.

 “I trust that was a sufficient enough warning to make you think twice about pulling a similar stunt again, right?” Getting a wide-eyed nod of concurrence, Logan continued. “As I stated earlier, I think we have to start fresh. We can do so by reviewing a couple of our present rules and boundaries before possibly creating a few new ones if need be. So to start off, our most important rule deals with communication. The odd time you go out without me, I want to know where you’re going, who you’re going with and how long you’ll be gone. If I don’t like where you’re going or if I sense you feel uncomfortable about going, one of two things will happen. Either I’ll go with you whenever feasible or if I’m unable to accompany you, you’ll stay home.”

Logan paused to give this last statement time to sink in. He readily went along with Kadyn merely persisting to nod his agreement.

“Okay, then. In addition to this, Kadyn, I want you to be open and honest with me at all times. Let me know when you really don’t want to go somewhere with your friends and if I have to, I'll be the heavy. You can just tell them I forbade it. I hope this works well for both of us because I do not, I repeat, I do not want another episode similar to the one we’re dealing with right now. If it happens again, you’ll earn yourself more than a warning. Are you sure you’re satisfied with all this?”

“Oh yeah, I really feel so much better with you being in charge most the time, Logan. I know I probably shouldn’t be. After all, I’m an adult and ought not to be dependent on someone else watching out for me and making decisions that I should be making for myself. But for some reason, I just prefer it that way. I think I might have been kinda scared that you’d think I was too much work and not worth the hassle.” Due to having been so badly hurt once before, Kadyn still experienced uncertainties in regard to his place in this man’s life. These misgivings more often than not arose when he had done something to displease his partner. The reoccurring doubts caused him to momentarily forgotten the numerous occasions the older man had assured him of his importance.

It was Logan’s turn to be shocked. He sadly asked himself if he failed somehow to get his message across to Kadyn on how much he loved him and that it was worth anything to keep him happy. Then he remembered Kadyn’s past and understood where the feelings of insecurity were coming from. He knew it would likely take a long time for the younger man to truly accept his own worthiness and value, and Logan was more than willing to repeat his declarations of undying love as often as necessary. He shook his head to clear his thoughts before pulling the love of his life into a bone crushing embrace and attempting once again to set his mind at ease.

“Oh sweetheart, I will never be able to truly express how much I love you; that you aren’t now nor ever will be too much work for me. You may be a challenge at times,” Logan chuckled at that understatement, “but never unworthy of the effort. Besides, it is only in certain areas of your life that you’ve requested my assistance. And I believe that has to do with the energy and passion you choice to put into the things that mean the most to you; like our relationship and your business. We only run into a spot of difficulty when we have episodes like this evening’s antics. So how about us agreeing to put it behind us and move on, okay?”

“I like that idea,” Kadyn replied, a happy grin spreading across his face. He wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck and waited expectantly.

Logan lowered his head to passionately bestow kiss on Kadyn’s parted lips. The kiss was returned with equal fervour as they resealed their commitment to each other.

“Love you!” Kadyn breathlessly declared as they surfaced for air. He began placing kisses over his partner’s face and neck, causing Logan to softly chuckle.

“I haven’t thanked you for rescuing me from that place, Logan, and I should have before now.”

“It’s Mr. Delaney you should be thanking, sweetheart, for realizing you were in over your head and calling me.”

“Oh I already did,” Kadyn assured the other man, “as soon as he gave me back my cell phone.”

“He’s a good man. I imagine both he and his wife are excellent at what they do or their parties would not attract the crowds they do.” Logan voiced his beliefs in hopes of aiding his partner in developing a better understanding of just how safe he and his friends were this evening.

 “Who’s his wife?”

“Lady Sophie is. Jonathan told me they’ve been together for years.”

“But she’s a domme. Hell, I’d never have taken him for a sub.” Kadyn whistled and shook his head in wonder.

“They’re both dominants, Kadyn. They don’t live the life style on a daily basis, just regularly play with others.”

“Well the saying goes that it’s different strokes for different folks. It’s sure not for me though.” Kadyn looked directly into Logan’s eyes. “We’re okay now, right?” 

“Pretty much, but there’s still one other matter to deal with.”

“And what would that be?” Kadyn pushed himself off Logan’s lap and sat back on his heels to face the older man.

“This isn’t the first time I’m bringing up your habit of always trying to please everyone. I happen to know from experience that it’s an impossible task. You should also be aware of the futility of attempting to do so after the number of times it’s gotten out of hand and come back to bite you in the butt. Other people’s happiness is not your responsibility.”

“But I just can’t seem to say no, ‘cause I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or get them mad at me.”

“Kadyn, if you try to please everyone all the time, you’ll end up a basket case by the time you’re forty. Just accept the fact that you have to say no sometimes. I know it bothers you to do that. Nonetheless, as hard as it may be, you can learn how to stand firm without hurting people’s feelings. It may take some practice but in time you’ll get it.”

“All right, if you say so.” Kadyn sounded like he had some reservations. “I may need some help with it.”

“I will always be more than willing to assist you in any endeavor, sweetheart.” Logan tried to keep a straight face, but a tiny smile crept across his face as he thought of  just how much Kadyn was going to dislike the directive he was about to be given. “In fact, I already have a plan to get a good start on this new goal. Over the next week, in an effort to solidly plant the conception in your head, you’re going to write lines.” Logan bit his cheek to prevent a laugh from escaping at the sight of Kadyn’s widening eyes. He hastily continued before the younger man could utter a protest. “Fifty of the following should make a healthy impression. ‘It is all right to say ‘no’ and I have to learn to do so, as it is not possible or practical to please everyone.’ No argument, Kadyn,” Logan held up his hand. “You asked for my help and I’m giving it.”

Kadyn pouted and quietly repeated the sentence while counting the words on his fingers. “That’s twenty-five words long,” he objected. “Can’t you shorten it?”

“Sorry, but to get the point across it has to be well-defined and unabridged. Ten lines a night, Kadyn, that’s all. You can do it!” Logan cheerfully encouraged and finally gave the laughter he’d been holding back free reign while wondering why he hadn’t burst into flames at the look his Brat was sending his way.

His curiosity getting the better of him, Kadyn apprehensively inquired, “But what if the lines don’t help?”

“They better or your backside in going to suffer the consequences,” Logan sombrely proclaimed.    

“I’m gonna have to rethink this ‘asking you for help’ notion,” the younger man muttered, glowering at his Top.

As often happened, Kadyn’s mood suddenly took an about turn as he smiled and threw himself into Logan’s arms. “But hey, if it works for us, then so be it.”

The End